I’ll be the first to admit that making mom friends can be a struggle!
The same can be said for keeping old friends once you become a mom.
As an introverted mama, I definitely struggle in this area.
Thankfully, I finally built up the courage to put myself out there, and met a bunch of amazing mamas in my church’s small group!
That said, I still could use a little help in this area.
So if you’re all too familiar with the mom friend struggle, don’t worry – you’re in the right place!
Mom life is interesting, to say the least.
That’s just one word to describe years of clothing, feeding and spending time with another human being.
This human can be very hard to understand sometimes.
Sometimes you will need breaks from each other. That’s where friends come in.
When you’re a new mom, a lot of things get forgotten- sleep, eating, showers.
Friends sometimes end up on that list.
We mean to reply to emails or messages, but when the baby is napping and you’ve had 4 hours sleep in 2 days, guess what takes priority?
Even if it’s a couple hours.
Most people don’t take offense, because we’re adults and part of being adults is understanding we don’t come first in everyone’s lives all the time.
It may sting a little, but this is a part of life.
Even if the friend involved doesn’t have kids, it’s still understandable.
My longtime best friend, Ashley, doesn’t have kids (not by choice. She has a medical issue that sadly prevents her from having children), but she understands how important my kids are.
She loves my kids and they love her.
How does this work?
Involve Your Friends As Your Child Grows.
Thanks to social media, this is pretty easy.
Post pics and videos, but don’t make this all you post.
Invite them to events that all of you can enjoy, like a birthday party or to the park.
Answer Those Messages
Communication is a great thing.
Things do get easier as babies grow- you’ll be able to find extra time to talk to friends.
Naptime can be a good time to do this or after your child has gone to bed for the night.
Make Time For Non-Kid Time.
I make sure that Ashley and I see each other without my kids at least once a month.
My kids are preteens and don’t want to be bothered with me most of the time, so this isn’t a difficult task.
When they were smaller, it was a bit harder but I still made sure it happened.
This is important so that both parties feel as though the friendship is still solid and everyone still has fun.
Making New Mom Friends
This can be a bit tricky.
I struggled for years, as many moms do.
I’m not exactly the most “normal” mom out there.
I’m loud. I have tattoos. I listen to rock music, and for most of my kids’ childhood, I worked full-time.
Throughout the years, I’ve managed to make a few mom friends.
This can be a hard thing to do when you have social anxiety.
Don’t force yourself- just ease into it in your own time.
There are people who would love to meet you and be your friend.
School Functions Can Be A Good Place To Start
My kids went to the same elementary school – Lily is the last one going into the fifth grade at this school.
I’ve been to most of the field trips and events this school offers.
I can read people well. This ability has led me to talk to people who like me- just trying to get through parenting in one piece.
Church, Sports and Gymnastics
There are a bazillion things you can get your child involved in.
Great friendships can be made among the other parents there.
If you’re in a rural area and/or homeschool, these things aren’t always a possibility.
There are groups online you can get into for support and friendship.
Moms need friends.
We need to laugh and cry together.
We also need shopping buddies that aren’t going to drain our credit cards at Justice.
Wrae is a parenting/mental health blogger in Louisville, KY.
She has a BA in Clinical Psychology and a decade in mental health work experience.
Wrae has worked with bloggers such as Brynn of The Mama on the Rocks, the sisters behind Life Is Worth Living and has been published on Mental Health Talk.
When she is not writing, she enjoys reading, true crime podcasts, and movies.
She is married and has three children.
Click the links below to check out Wrae’s personal blog and connect with her on social media.
Hey Girl, Hey!
Thanks for dropping by to check out my little corner of the internet. I’m Kermilia! I’m an introverted millennial, married to the love of my life, and a SAHM to two amazing little boys. Christian. Cup Connoisseur. Grey’s Anatomy Addict. Queen Sugar Enthusiast. INTP. Oh, and I’m probably the only mom that you’ll meet that doesn’t drink coffee!
Now that you’re here, stay awhile.