30 Misconceptions About Life As A Stay-At-Home Mom
TweetPin1KShareShare1K SharesThere are many misconceptions about life as a stay-at-home mom. However, many assumptions simply…
There are many misconceptions about life as a stay-at-home mom. However, many assumptions simply aren’t true and some of these may even surprise you.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a lot of hard work, but not everyone feels that way.
Many people like to believe that women who have decided to stay home full-time fall somewhere on the invisible ‘motherhood spectrum’ between extremely privileged and too attached to their kids.
While I believe this could go without saying, for the sake of that one Negative Nancy that reads the title of this post and gets ready to type out some long, drawn-out negative comment, I’ll preface this post by saying:
Mom’s that work outside of the home are AMAZING! This post is in no way meant to belittle or offend any of my working mama friends.
However, as your friendly cyber-space millennial stay-at-home mom, I felt that it was only right to highlight a few misconceptions about life as a stay-at-home mom.
I decided that the best way to do this was to ask some of my own mama friends this simple question:
What’s the one thing that people assume about you simply because you’re a Stay-At-Home Mom?
I’ve compiled their responses below and I must say, some of their answers may shock you.
So without further ado, check out these 30 misconceptions about life a stay-at-home mom.
“People often assume that because I’m home with the kids all day that my house is super clean. That couldn’t be further from the truth! My house is an absolute mess because I’m home with two rowdy boys all day! My house was cleaner when I worked full-time outside the home.”
Erin | LullabyLark.com
“That I don’t actually work. That I just stay home and watch tv all day with my feet up.”
Breanna | MommiesToBe.wordpress.com
“That I don’t need as much sleep as someone who actually goes to work! What?! Haha.”
Kate | TheBlendingLives.com
“Why are you tired? You don’t do anything.”
Vanity | OverwhelmedToBlissful.com
“Most people assume that I’m not motivated to work or that I never went to school. I have been told, “must be nice to be able to stay at home and count your husband’s money.” I have also been asked what I want to do with my life because why would I want to sit at home when I have 4 degrees.”
Lensa | DiaryOfASmallTownDiva.com
“That I either A) have all this time to bake and clean so my house is spotless or B) I sit around and do nothing all day.”
Kim | ThisLoveFilledLife.com
“That I can’t contribute to my family, or that I can’t actively pay attention to my girls and my business at the same time. That I just sit and twiddle my thumbs and don’t get anything done.”
Taylor | AccomplishedFamily.com
“That it’s easy being at home all day with two kids and that I should be grateful all the time. Or that my home should be clean always.”
Cindy | CinCityStyleEdition.com
“That I don’t have an education. I’m always asked “well you stay home.. so what happens when they’re older” – it never, ever fails. So I reply “I’ll use the Master’s Degree I received while staying home with them and teach a whole bunch of little ones when they get older.”
Sasha | OhhSash.com
“Must be nice to have a husband that makes lots of money so you don’t have to work…” (Disclaimer: he makes enough money to pay bills, put food on our table, and get us by, but we are by no means living in the lap of luxury!)”
Heather | WhatAWeatherfulWorld.com
“I don’t have the drive or determination to make something “more” of my life, my life is complete, I don’t have other priorities like working moms or people who work in general.”
Cendu | CenduParam.com
“When I tell people that I’m a SAHM, they say “must be nice” like being with my kids all day is easy. Obviously, I love them and am home by choice, but being surrounded by dependent, tiny humans 24/7 is a lot of work!”
Tasheena | TheCinnamonMom.com
“Apparently it’s very uncommon to be stay-at-home-mom and not be on cloud #9 because of that. A lot of people assume that I must love homeschooling (I don’t even do that) and… cooking! I am a SAHM because of the circumstances. I appreciate spending time with my kids and I love the bond we have, but I also have my own blog, I’m close to opening my own business and put my diploma into practice. We (moms at home) aren’t all the same type of person.”
Alicja | JustRedefine.com
“That my husband either forced/highly suggested that I needed to stay home. Or they assume that my husband hates that I stay home because he doesn’t want to be the only one “working.”
Tricia | TheHealthyIshHome.com
“I’ve had people assume that I’m privileged just because I’m a SAHM mom. Of course, it is IS a privilege to stay with my child, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t struggle and work really hard to make ends meet.”
Laurel | Momability.blog
“The one thing people assume about me simply because I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom is that I have loads of idle time. I’m especially surprised when other moms assume this. As a SAHM there is always work to do. I’d like my children to know me as a diligent worker and caregiver so sitting idle is not an option.”
Ashley | PurposefulNest.com
“I stay home all day!! I always get “Can you do me a favor, since you stay home all day?”
Mary | MamaRohrersPride.com
“Some people actually believe our house should be spotless since I stay home all day. They forget about the kids that are here making messes quicker than I can pick up.”
Megan | MeganDeal.com
“Because I am a SAHM (who also homeschools), I’ve had people accuse me of being lazy, TOO attached to my kids, & making comments when I spend money on anything at all. It’s maddening!”
Cait | SingleMomTribe.com
“I’m not sure why you’re so stressed, it must get boring with nothing to do all day.”
Jackie | TheTugWife.com
“That because I started a business I’m not fulfilled being a stay at home mom. I am but I wanted to be a mom and something else. I love being a mom and I want to be there for my kids but I also love being useful to other people and feel like I am contributing to our family finances as well.”
Erin | ThreeIn3.com
“I was that person, I was a full time working mom until getting laid off. I thought it would be so much more “relaxing” to be able to stay home. Boy, was I wrong! This is the hardest job I’ve EVER had.”
Jessica | HeyMamaJess.com
“That I am naturally good at playing. I actually find pausing to play difficult. I tend to stress about all of the other tasks piling up.”
Meredith | MotherhoodByMeredith.com
“For 15 years, I was a stay at home mom. The one thing I noticed was that many people assumed because I chose to stay at home with my children that I did not have any dreams or aspirations for a career. It’s like they decided I was settling or something. What they didn’t understand was that I had dreams of becoming a nurse. But my dream was not as important to me as being home with my children. I didn’t see that as a loss but as a privilege. As mom’s we have seasons and learning to live our best during those seasons is all we can do.”
Trish | HabibiHouse.net
“People assume that because I stay home most of the time, and homeschool my kids that I must have a TON of patience! I am not some perfect and patient mom though, I just have a lot of motivation. I believe strongly in keeping my kids at home with me!”
Amber | ThisSimpleLifeBlog.com
“I was told during an argument that “all you do it sit your — at home all day with your hand out for your husbands money” because I am a stay at home mom and my husband literally does give me every paycheck. This came from my sister in law with a job”
Latasha | ThomasFamForever.com
” That I am spoiled and old fashioned! That because I don’t get up and go to a job every day I’m being the submissive one in my marriage.”
Lydia | LydiaLouise.com
“Ahh it must be nice to get to stay at home all the time…” Gosh, I hear that a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m lucky to be at home with my babies, not have to worry about child care, etc. But the downfall is, my home is no longer my resting place and my kids are now my job. I struggle to enjoy my boys because the housework along with the kids are my job and sometimes I get frustrated and overwhelmed. The life of a Stay-At-Home-Mom is a constant go, go, go so it’s hard to relax and get settled after the kids go to bed. And don’t get me started on the term “stir crazy.”
Courtney | ScatterBrainedMom.com
“That I am wasting my degree and potential. But I did choose to be a SAHM because I want to be present and savor his childhood. My career can wait but for now I am enjoying the best job I ever had. Toothless grin as salary, anyone?”
Nessly | Tribobot.com
“We live in a high cost-of-living area, so some friends assume that since I don’t work we must be on a tight budget and can’t afford certain luxuries (designer clothes, girls only weekend trip, Disney annual passes, etc)”
Jenn | OneHoppyMomma.com
If you’re a fellow Stay-At-Home Mom, then I’m sure that you may have heard a few of these yourself.
If you aren’t, did any of these surprise you?
I have to admit, I’ve personally heard many of these in my own journey as a SAHM, but after a while, you just get used to it.
Are you a SAHM and have heard or experienced something that isn’t listed in this post?
Leave it in the comments below!
I’d love to read it! And who knows, your comment may be featured in a future blog post on this subject!
-Kermilia
I can relate to all of these. People really assume that I have no reason to ever be tired or to want a break because “I’m not really doing anything being at home with him.” Like being home all day with a tiny human is not hard work. I love this post and reading everyone’s input!
Oh, I have heard soooooo many of these! As a SAHM due to circumstances of my children having special needs, I really appreciate your post! Thank you for bringing this out in the open and perhaps, changing some negative views into positive ones!
It is so sad how much society and other mothers judges each other. Nearly all those misconceptions I have hear before. Being a stay home mom is the hardest, most tiring, dirtiest job I have ever had.
I am a student but I do online and stay home. Once I get my job my husband is going to stay home a do school. We decided early that we did not want to keep our children in daycare. I get- privileged and lucky a lot. My husband gets Lazy’
I can so relate to these, but the biggest one that hits home is that people assume we aren’t motivated to work. We are and being a mom IS work.
Love that you used quotes from different moms.
Yes, it is all eating bon bons + watching talk shows ALL. THE. LIVE. LONG. DAY. 🙂 When I’m not doing that, I get to shower, use the bathroom without an audience + eat a meal sitting down. In a chair. At a table. Without someone eating off my plate.
[all sarcasm, of course]
I can relate so much, my husband sometimes doesn’t understand why on some days i don’t get to get much done, he’d say “but you have all the time in the world”, as if i have 8 hours extra in a day.
I love this idea that a SAHM’s house is clean. My one year old is home ALL DAY. As I put 2 things away, he’s gotten 385859392 more out!
I hate that these assumptions even get made in the first place, but they totally do! Thank you for reminding us ALL that SAHMs are all working just as hard 🙂
This is an amazing post. There are SO many hurtful things that are said to stay-at-home-moms or work-at-home-moms. Everyone is simply doing their best and no one should be judging anyone else! Yikes. Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this post and letting me know that it’s not just me that hears these things!
In a couple months I’ll be a full SAHM. I have worked PT with our first, even when he was an infant. We were just not in a place for me to leave work at the time and it was really sad for me, so I’m excited to stay home with our second. I live in a place where it’s fairly common to be a SAHM, but most of these moms have a “side business” or something else. So there’s this unspoken pressure to be a mom and (fill in the blank). Since our first has gotten a little older and more independent, I’ve been able to pursue fitness and nutrition counseling. I’ve only done it within the family but I definitely feel pressure from some family members to not only continue coaching but expand it to an actual home business – which seems like waaaay too much stress on top of taking care of a new baby.
Of course, I would love to at some point expand my amateur fitness/nutrition counseling, but I do feel that it’s bizarre that we’re expected to juggle being mom and something else. Raising kids is a pretty big accomplishment – I don’t understand why it’s diminished to, “oh, you get to stay home all day, you should do something else, too!” Hopefully this makes sense – I love the “Wonder Woman” image of a SAHM who raises kids, cooks organic meals, keeps a spotless house AND runs her own business, but in reality, I think it puts a huge stress on moms and takes our focus away from why we really chose to stay at home.
Ugh, it’s awful the stereotypes we assign mothers—working outside or inside the home! It’s tough either way and we’re all “working” our butts off!