It’s easy to judge another mama for how she chooses to parent her child, but to end mom-bashing once and for all, it starts with US– the mom’s!
It’s so easy to judge another mama for how she chooses to parent her child, but honestly, if the child’s basic needs have been met, and they aren’t in any imminent danger, WHY must we worry ourselves with what other mamas choose to do?
It’s been my experience that some of the top parenting “experts”:
DON’T have any kids.
Have raised kids that are now adults.
Have kids and believe the way that they parent their child is LAW.
While parenting will look different for EVERYONE, it seems that the moms are always the ones getting flack for doing what they gotta do!
Before I became a Stay-At-Home Mom, I worked full-time at a foster care agency, and let me just say, the LAST thing child services was concerned with was putting your child on a sleep schedule.
I mean, I’m sure no social worker is thinking “Aw man, if only they had limited screen time to two hours a day…”
Being responsible for a whole HUMAN.BEING is hard enough without everybody and their mama (see what I did there?) questioning your parenting decisions.
I know what you’re thinking…
“Oh lighten up, I’m sure they mean well…”
I hate to say it, because the concept of “meaning well” is wonderful in theory, however, it’s undeniably abused.
“Meaning-well” has resulted in wayyy to many uncomfortable situations for the person on the receiving end of the gesture.
Just because someone “means well” doesn’t mean that the recipient will interpret it that way.
The truth is, the people that constantly critique your parenting style, under the guise of “meaning-well”, simply want to change how you parent because it would make THEM feel better.
Unfortunately, someone will always have an opinion about how we raise our children, the question is…how do we respond?
STAND YOUR GROUND
Remember, you made your parenting decisions for a good reason.
For example, my son didn’t latch, so breastfeeding was pretty impossible for me.
However, I was determined for my little chunk to have mamas milk.
As a result, I became an exclusively pumping mama.
I got a TON of flack (from “well-meaning” people) about how it would be easier to buy him formula and blah blah blah.
While I have absolutely nothing against mamas who formula feed, I wanted MY son to have MY breast milk.
If I have to pump around the clock day in and day-out, so be it!
GIVE AN EXPLANATION
I’ll preface this by saying that this is my LEAST favorite strategy but nevertheless, it has proven to be effective.
Sometimes people make comments and ask questions about your style of parenting simply because they don’t understand it.
For example, they may have no idea what “Attachment Parenting” is.
OR they may only be familiar with babies sleeping in cribs and not co-sleeping with you.
Many times these people simply need an explanation and BOOM!
They have developed a newfound respect for your decision and will probably only question it when they seek a genuine answer.
FORGET WHAT THEY THINK
Yup. Sometimes you just have to let it roll off your back.
Although I truly don’t mind explaining why I do what I do, I find it easier to not concern myself with what people have to say.
For you, this may translate into not answering the phone every time these particular people call (trust me- people catch the hint whether they’d like to admit it or not).
OR it may mean spending less time with these “well-meaning” individuals and finding a group of like-minded mamas to connect with.
Whatever it looks like for you, remember, YOU are the mom.
Not your mom/aunt/grandma/mother-in-law/etc.
At the end of the day,
Some mamas breastfeed.
Some mamas bottle-feed.
Some mamas co-sleep.
Some mamas do the cry-it-out method.
Some mamas work full-time.
Some mamas stay at home full-time.
But all these mamas are mamas in their own right and will parent in their own way.
In order to end the mom-bashing once and for all,it starts with US- the mamas!
So take pride in how you choose to parent and no matter what strategy you use to deal with the inevitable, “well-meaning” comments, remember, for every mama’s parenting style you disagree with, there are probably five mamas that disagree with yours.
Until Next Time,